It's My Birthday

First of all, let me say that I realize it’s been a very long while since I wrote something. I write on paper multiple times a day but I rarely just sit down and type. Today I felt like typing something. Today, December 9^th, is also my birthday. I turn 24 today! I’m very thankful to be alive and to be a part of this beautiful world. If I’m lucky, I will hopefully see many more birthdays in my time here and I hope they’re very happy and healthy!

But as I sit here in a hotel lobby, listening to annoying Christmas music and people laughing in groups of people (I, unfortunately, brought my iPod and forgot to bring the headphones), I am not thinking about cake or presents. I am thinking about all that my 365 days of being 23 taught me.

23 taught me A LOT. I learned that being in a different stage in your life than a lot of your peers and people you truly care about are in, is HARD. Although it’s hard, it’s also totally okay and normal. For a while I blamed myself and felt like I didn’t belong anywhere but then I found my happy place and made some realizations about it. Sometimes you don’t grow with people, you grow alone. You’re molding into who you truly are (or honestly just who you’ve always been). In order to become comfortable in your own skin, you have to discover what makes you uncomfortable and what makes you truly happy. More shockingly, some of the things that used to make you truly happy, no longer make you happy anymore. I’ve heard some people call this something crazy like “growing up.”

I am no longer interested in going out or surrounding myself with people who I’m forced to have small talk with.  Instead, I am so extremely excited about going home and doing laundry and watching Netflix with my husband. I am no longer interested in exploiting my life for other people to see, I’m interested in meditating and making myself better for ME (yes, ME). I am no longer interested in what others think of me, I am more concerned with making sure I think that I’m a good person and that I’m making moral, ethical decisions when I eat, when I shop, and when I decide what topic to dive into with my binge documentary reading/watching self.

            It would take another entire blog SERIES to explain all of the things I’ve learned this year, so I’ll just leave it where it stands and say that I’ve learned A LOT. 23 wasn’t all scary and lessons, though. I got married, I moved, and I’ve learned to be mindful this year. I have discovered what’s really important (that’s another blog post, y’all). It’s been a year of life lessons and interesting self-discoveries but I am truly happy with who I am and who I am becoming. If 24 can teach me half as much as 23 did, I have a feeling I’m in for a super interesting year. I’ll keep you guys posted (if I stop writing all of the time and actually type sometimes). I would like to close with a simple “happy birthday” to myself. So, happy birthday, Marina. You’re doing the best you can. Have an awesome year as a 24 year-old.

Dreary Days

First off, let me apologize (without really apologizing) for not posting anything for a few weeks. Planning a wedding, moving, and starting a new job (yes, at the SAME time) really takes most of my free time away. And to be honest, when I do have free time I usually am working out or listening to NPR. AAAANYWAYS, today when I walked outside for lunch I noticed that it was an extremely dreary day. Before you think I’m going to complain, trust me, I’m not. I absolutely LOVE dreary days. Yes, I know, most people HATE them. I’m extremely weird and this is just one of the things I embrace my weirdness on.

On dreary days everything moves just a little slower. People aren’t in as big of a rush, the birds are quieter, and the sky is usually one solid tone of bleak blue. The air feels slightly cooler and the leaves on the trees are still. Dreary days are so simple and uninterrupted. It’s in this simplicity that I find some of my best ideas, contentment, and peace of mind. We get so busy trying to be on time, planning the next big night, or trying to complete to do lists that we forget to enjoy the boring, drab day we’ve been given.

Enjoy the stillness. We don’t have to be on the go all the time! I’m an extremely busy person and it’s a small miracle for me to walk outside and feel like I don’t have to live up to this day’s expectations. I can relax and breathe. I don’t have to worry about how busy tomorrow is going to be, I can concentrate on what I’m doing right now. I can go to lunch, enjoy this day most people will deem depressing, and not have to worry about putting on my sunglasses.

One of my all-time favorite quotes is “What we see depends mainly on what we look for” by John Lubbock. It is extremely easy to pick out things that are wrong with this type of day (and any other type of day or situation for that matter). Instead, why don’t we look at this dreary day as an opportunity to slow down, be mindful, and just enjoy the tranquility days like this bring. Life doesn’t always have to be busy and complicating. It can be simple and that’s always enough. Dreary days don’t have to be “depressing.” They can be just the mental break you’re looking for J

Things to Think About: Part One

We all get into these deep and dark places that are extremely scary from time to time. We’re sad and we think we should be more. We complain constantly about how hard and wrong our lives are. We think negatively even though we really all have so much more than we deserve. Before you argue about what has happened to you, let’s get real for a minute: You obviously can read this post, you have access to a computer or phone, you have eyes that allow you to see, you have electricity, you have the ability to think a coherent thought, etc. So really, even though we are all guilty of complaining from time to time, we have NOTHING to complain about.

I’ve somehow been able to pull myself from deep and dark places a few times and I thought letting people know some of the ways I have helped myself become a more positive person would help someone else. As a goal-oriented person, it really helped me to set goals for myself each day. Nope, these are not hard. They are extremely easy and also enriching. I can come up with 100 of these but here are 5 for you to start with:

 Goal 1: Find something extraordinary beautiful every day. Yep, there is something extraordinary beautiful in even the worst days. For example, the sky looks 100% different every morning and every evening. Trees and flowers change every day. Every person you will ever meet is unique and has something to offer the world. Everyone you ever meet will teach you something new (even if the only thing you learn is how to have more patience).

Goal 2: Find your happy place. I, myself, have several “happy places.” I especially suggest finding a place to watch a sunrise/sunset every day. It will help you out with Goal 1. Your happy place should be as quiet as possible and a place you feel comfortable going alone. You NEED a place to reflect, write, meditate, pray, or whatever it is that makes you be the most awesome version of yourself as possible!

Goal 3: Give 3 compliments a day. People hear enough of what they need to improve, what they do wrong, and society is already hard enough to live up to. Just tell someone 3 genuinely NICE things about themselves a day. It will change your life.

Goal 4: Wake up with a grateful heart. BE GRATEFUL YOU WERE ABLE TO WAKE UP. It’s easy as that. Instead of thinking of how horrible or busy your day is going to be, just tell yourself “I’m alive. That’s awesome enough.” You will win every day!  

Goal 5: Pay attention. Practice mindfulness while doing something today. You will NEVER complete Goals 1-4 if you don’t look up and pay attention. I’ve been amazed at how much more beauty I see in the world when I consciously pay attention to my surroundings.

I hope at least one of these can help you live a more positive and cheerful life! :-)
 

What We're Made Of

 

We’ve all heard the nursery rhyme “What Are Little Boys Made Of?” You know: Boys are made from snips and snails and puppy-dog’s tails and little girls are sugar and spice and everything nice. Yeah, well, that’s all crap. We’re made of a heck of a lot more than that.

We’re actually made of the people we come home to when we’re little. We’re made of their positive examples and negative attributes. We’re made of their habits, their words, and the way they look at the world. We’re what they’ve taught us, their tough love, and childhood memories. We grow up, move on, and form our own opinions, but they’re still what we’re made of.

We’re made of our friends’ laughter and the tears from the sadness of their first heartbreak. We’re made of late nights, long conversations, and the crappy unhealthy junk we eat when we’re together. We’re made of bad decisions, college choices, headwraps, failed savings funds to move out of the state, and of our best friend’s mom’s sweet tea. We’re all unique and one-of-a-kind, but we’re still made of each other.

We’re made of birthday cards, first loves, and the first time our hearts actually felt something. We’re made of disappointments, irresponsible choices, and our (many, many, many) favorite songs. We’re made of the visions we have of the way life is supposed to be. We’re made of dreams, colors, the air we breathe, and the ground we’re standing on. We’re made of second (third, fourth, fifth…) chances and the people we’ve left behind. We’re made of the pain we’ve felt and the optimism we still have despite the odds. We’re made of sunsets, our happy places, and our favorite books. We’re made of memories and our commute to work. We’re made of the drive to be more and the positive vibes our favorite people pass on. We’re made of everything we’ve ever seen, felt, and heard.

We’re made of so much more than water, tissue, oxygen, puppy-dogs tails, sugar, and atoms… What we’re made of is infinite. Infinite possibilities, hopes, dreams, and passion. That’s what we’re really made of.

Sad Sparks

 

 

Spark

/Spärk/
Noun

 1. a small fiery particle thrown off from a fire, alight in ashes, or produced by striking together two hard surfaces such as stone or metal.

§  a light produced by a sudden disruptive electrical discharge through the air.

§  an electrical discharge serving to ignite the explosive mixture in an internal combustion engine.

§  a small bright object or point.

2. a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling.

 

So, technically, according to Google, that is the actual definition of a “spark” as a noun. Really “sparks” are a lot more than that (especially if you’ve had one… keep reading). Creative sparks, fiery sparks, sparks of emotion, sparks of passion, sad sparks, etc. I could sit here and name all of the hundreds of types of “sparks” I randomly think of, but I won’t do that. I would simply like to point out what I would deem the most common, most powerful, yet worst of all type of spark: the sad spark.

            Sad sparks are the sparks that are at the realm of fizzling out. The spark imbedded deep inside of you that never quite goes away. The same spark that nearly dictates your life is exhausted, dull, and broken.  It could be a person that makes your soul come alive from the pit of it all, a dream to leave town, a passion for an issue you have had to keep quiet about to keep the peace in your current situation, a degree you have always wanted to pursue, it can be ANYTHING. It’s YOUR spark. It’s the tiny light inside that is dulling, being suppressed by society, our families, and/or everyone else telling trying to tell us what “real life” has to be. The thing is, sad sparks will NEVER go away. It’s passion… and passion just really doesn’t fade. It’s what ignites something deep inside that you can’t really explain but you can’t get off of your mind. My suggestion to you, don’t let your sad little spark fizzle out completely. Don’t let anyone or anything else win. Pursue your sad spark! Give it the attention it deserves.

            Anyone with a great love story or an idea that finally made it big after years of trying and setbacks had a sad spark too, just like you. They’ve lost hope, they’ve been disappointed, and they’ve all almost given up but they didn’t, they keep their spark alive, careful to never, ever let it fade. Persistence and deciding that it’s worth the final push. It’s worth trying again for. It’s who you are and the person you’re molding into. It’s your future! Don’t let it fade away.

            So, if you’re wondering if the risk is worth taking, it is. If you’re worried if it’s stupid, it’s not. If you’re wondering if it ever goes away, it doesn’t. The only way to really live (not just exist, ACTUALLY LIVE) is to ignite the spark again. This is for the people who live every day knowing there is something more: a greater love, a better job, a more magnificent place. Never settling but knowing deep inside in the put of who they are: there’s something more. You can obtain it. Don’t let your sad spark disappear with the regret of what could’ve been if you gave it another shot. Pick yourself up and start living with passion again. It’s never too late! J

It's the Little Things That Count

It’s the little things that count. It’s when you find “The Girl” City & Colour are talking about. It’s sharing sunsets and dreams (even though they both change every single day). It’s grocery shopping and 30 minute long hugs. It’s when opening your heart has always been your biggest fear and it’s FINALLY cracked wide open. It’s those “20 seconds of insane courage” they talk about in “We Bought a Zoo” (yes, this is a real thing people… if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will someday I promise). It’s having some of the most serious conversations of your life through the most unserious ways possible i.e. Snapchat & the use of Emoji’s. It’s having a milkshake that you don’t want or need at all just to spare 10 minutes with someone you love. It’s railroad tracks that you cross every day that hold hilarious memories that no one else will ever know about. It’s that spark in someone’s eyes that you thought was really gone (and the relief you feel deep down in the core of who you are when you see it again). It’s decade old love letters that you’ll never part with. It’s sharing your “Shower” playlist and actually admitting that you do, in fact, have a “Shower” playlist that you play every time you take a shower… It’s when someone remembers something that was so special to them that you almost forgot about and how awesome it feels to relive those special moments when you remember them (that might be weird if you haven’t had this happen, but it’s a really good feeling). Speaking of moments, it’s when 20 minutes turns into 3 and ½ hours and memories that will last a lifetime. It’s finding a song that gives you everything you need. It’s having a story no one else in the world has in your simple, boring life. It’s someone telling you that “you were meant for something big.” It’s the friendships that never miss a beat no matter how long it’s been since you’ve been together. It’s a text that turns your world upside down. It’s the day you feel again up after a long fog of indifference. It’s the nights that are fuzzy and filled with laughter because of the amazing people you got to share it with. It’s watching your best friend get married to the love of her life. It’s the blood, sweat, and tears you put in to perfecting a performance. It’s unexpected interruptions to your life that wreck your seamless plans.

You see, it’s the little things that count. It’s the little things that make your soul come alive. They make you stop floating and start feeling. They make life BIG.

So if you ever feel like you’re not doing anything (or the “right” thing) with your life, don’t worry. You’re absolutely fine! It’s the little things that count anyway and I PROMISE you, if someone were to compose a list of some of the little things that counted in their life, you’d definitely be one of them! J

Proof That the Best Things in Life Are FREE

Sunrises are totally, completely free. 

Sunsets are actually free too!!!! They're also ALWAYS different. You get your own personal surprise every single day!!! :-) 

Watching a beautiful sunset in front of someone else's sunflower field.... Also 100% free and also legal from a public road.. I think. 

These are free too. Some see them as a weed but the optimistic dreamers (like me, of course) look at these as an excuse to wish for something awesome. 

Fresh flowers = FREE. Totally worth getting stung, scratched, and allergy attacks for. 

Nature... the BEST free gift we will ever receive in our LIVES. It's breathtakingly, extraordinarily, absolutely freaking FREE. 

The ocean = endless beauty... FREEEEE.

No, this biscuit isn't free... But, it deserves an honorable mention as THE BEST biscuit I've ever had. Time with your best friend (HEY MARY!!!!!) is actually free, though... So, it technically counts, you guys. 

My First Post

Hi friends! I have tons of ideas. Literally, all my brain does all day is think of all the things I want to say to the world and all of the ways I want to make it better. With all of the sadness, complaining and negativity around us, it's actually pretty difficult to stay positive and we definitely don't hear enough good news. Sooooo, that's why I'm starting a blog. Only good news here. Revelations, stories about the wonderful beauty around us and about the people who make it all worth it. Good vibes ONLY!