It's My Birthday

First of all, let me say that I realize it’s been a very long while since I wrote something. I write on paper multiple times a day but I rarely just sit down and type. Today I felt like typing something. Today, December 9^th, is also my birthday. I turn 24 today! I’m very thankful to be alive and to be a part of this beautiful world. If I’m lucky, I will hopefully see many more birthdays in my time here and I hope they’re very happy and healthy!

But as I sit here in a hotel lobby, listening to annoying Christmas music and people laughing in groups of people (I, unfortunately, brought my iPod and forgot to bring the headphones), I am not thinking about cake or presents. I am thinking about all that my 365 days of being 23 taught me.

23 taught me A LOT. I learned that being in a different stage in your life than a lot of your peers and people you truly care about are in, is HARD. Although it’s hard, it’s also totally okay and normal. For a while I blamed myself and felt like I didn’t belong anywhere but then I found my happy place and made some realizations about it. Sometimes you don’t grow with people, you grow alone. You’re molding into who you truly are (or honestly just who you’ve always been). In order to become comfortable in your own skin, you have to discover what makes you uncomfortable and what makes you truly happy. More shockingly, some of the things that used to make you truly happy, no longer make you happy anymore. I’ve heard some people call this something crazy like “growing up.”

I am no longer interested in going out or surrounding myself with people who I’m forced to have small talk with.  Instead, I am so extremely excited about going home and doing laundry and watching Netflix with my husband. I am no longer interested in exploiting my life for other people to see, I’m interested in meditating and making myself better for ME (yes, ME). I am no longer interested in what others think of me, I am more concerned with making sure I think that I’m a good person and that I’m making moral, ethical decisions when I eat, when I shop, and when I decide what topic to dive into with my binge documentary reading/watching self.

            It would take another entire blog SERIES to explain all of the things I’ve learned this year, so I’ll just leave it where it stands and say that I’ve learned A LOT. 23 wasn’t all scary and lessons, though. I got married, I moved, and I’ve learned to be mindful this year. I have discovered what’s really important (that’s another blog post, y’all). It’s been a year of life lessons and interesting self-discoveries but I am truly happy with who I am and who I am becoming. If 24 can teach me half as much as 23 did, I have a feeling I’m in for a super interesting year. I’ll keep you guys posted (if I stop writing all of the time and actually type sometimes). I would like to close with a simple “happy birthday” to myself. So, happy birthday, Marina. You’re doing the best you can. Have an awesome year as a 24 year-old.